Dear Tofu Ninja Kitty,
Please stop eating my plants. Its not nice and it makes me freak out and google “toxic herbs for cats” at 3:30 in the morning.
I could have used that time to paint my nails instead, thank you very much.
And seriously, when i put things on top of the fridge it means that item is off limits to all fur babies. Stop climbing on it for pete’s sake.
*Who is pete and why are we all concerned about his well being?*
Oh and while we’re talking, can you please leave your spider corpses in a pile or something? Every time i sweep one of them pops out and goes flying across the floor i assume its alive, scream, throw the broom, and grab any flat item i can to throw at it, only to find out its already dead. Thank you for getting them, but lets work on our disposal methods eh?
P.S…. Just because i tell you “no” when you steal my hair tie and try to eat it, doesn’t mean you can dry heave on top of my clean laundry pile. Boundaries Tofu, boundaries.