>Kodak Fail


Image from We Heart It

I like to take pictures. I don’t necessarily take good pictures. But I take them anyways.

I have this whole thing about documenting Husby and my life together. Go fig.

Camera wise, however, I don’t own the nicest. Nor the best. Or really a camera worthy of anything. But its what I have…so I deal. In fact, Husby and I waited in line at Target one cold rainy Black Friday morning a few years ago. It was our first electronic purchase together as a married couple. All $80 bucks of it.

Waiting in line with all the other sleep deprived souls hoping to score a deal, Husby and I chuckled at ourselves. We came prepared. Starbucks coffee in our hands, (one perk of working there, being let into the store before it opened so we could get our caffeine fix) muffins and other tasty pastries being consumed, we were ready. General attitude of the Hall family that day = Bring it.

The doors opened, we weaved in and out of overstocked isles, past crazed shoppers still in their pajamas, and snatched up the golden yellow and white Kodak box. Our arms went in the air and Husby and I did a little happy dance right on the spot while high fiving each other and doing our own version of the fist pump.

That’s when an old lady, who had a mammoth 60 inch flat screen tv balancing on top of a shopping cart, rammed into me. And instead of saying something like those magic words you say when trying to take out a total stranger “I’m sorry”, she kept on going, continuing her search for other innocent newly married wives who used their arms and hands for a living.

I walked away from Target that morning with an impressive coffee buzz, a (now) scar on my arm, a total displeasure for old ladies buying electronics, and a shiny new camera.

Overall a good day.

Lets skip to 4 days ago.

Currently Husby and I are living out of one room. Almost all of our possessions are in storage and we’re actively on the hunt for a apartment….in the CITY. *sniffle* Yes. I’m weeping tears of joy. We’ve found some keepers and are in the course of starting the moving process. Thank goodness. *sniff*

Being that we’re in one room, a room that is already full of Mother Dear’s personal belongings, the things we do have are scattered around where ever they can go. This means that the shelf we brought with us is packed full of clothes, important papers, medicines, books, and anything else I can squeeze in.

This, is Tofu Ninja Kitty. She’s a punk. I like to compare her to a 14 year old teen girl who thinks she knows everything and who is currently rebelling against any and all things her parents have to say. Not only does Tofu have the attitude, she also has razor sharp claws and the will to kill anything that moves. Or doesn’t move. Anything that is in solid form really. And sometimes liquid. And maybe even air.

Sometimes when you have a “cat” who has special needs*, you do things that may or may not make any sense, or may be a total pain in your big bum, just to avoid upsetting the “cat” and thus avoiding a early grave.

This means that when Tofu Ninja Kitty wants her water bowl on the bottom of previously mentioned shelf, well, you put it there.

For the last four months the water bowl has lived it’s plastic life and served its thirst satisfying purpose. Until 4 days ago. That’s when I decided to grab a box of Gas-X off the self.

For the record, I can hear the judgment in your voice from way over here, and all I have to say is I had gallbladder surgery 21 days ago and somethings are still getting back to normal. So stuff it. Well, actually, I’ve been gassy my whole life but I cant help it! Its in my genetics! You should hear the things that come out of my family’s bottoms. Its not pretty. But it is funny. Unless you smell it. Then its just disturbing. No one should have something that bad come out of them. No one.

As I grabbed my box of totally not my fault meds, something shifted, and with that shift other things shifted. Until the next thing I knew my precious crappy camera was falling. Down down down. And then, a quite “Plunk.”

[insert sad bagpipes playing here]

I’d like to point out that the camera was only in the water bowl for 2 seconds. One time my Blackberry fell off a shelf (I’m seeing a trend here) when I was washing my hands and landed face up under a water faucet. I’m talking sink flowing, bubbles everywhere and water pouring out of every hole and key on my phone.

But it still works. Except for the times when it decides it doesn’t want to anymore. But then I just hit it against something over and over again until it finally realizes that I am its MASTER. Then it works fine. Kinda.

So in conclusion dear readers, lets take a moment of silence for my crappy stupid camera who took grainy blurry pictures. And for my relationship with all things Kodak which also died 4 days ago when I found out that they don’t cater to 26 year old wives stuck on top of a hill in one bedroom trying to please a hormonal “cat” while still living her gassy life.


Thank you.

PS… if any big shots who work for Nikon, Cannon or any other camera producer, somehow find their way onto this sad excuse for a blog and are reading this, now would be the time to woo me with your sweet macro lenses.

Just saying.

*needs like obeying her every command.


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